Reflections by Luna

Monica Taylor is a mom from Dromore South, Dromahane Co Cork Ireland. I met her through one of my many support groups for women/families who have felt the loss of a pregnancy/infant/child. She was willing to share her story in my blog series from a crossed the ocean. A lot of women suffer from miscarriage. Some might not even know they are having a miscarriage; others have what is called “missed miscarriage” where it is undiagnosed until later in the pregnancy. Some women have miscarriages and then have a baby while others have consecutive miscarriages and try hard for their rainbow. While some of these moms with consecutive miscarriages may never know why they are happening, they long for the end of the tunnel when they finally get to hold that little one, their rainbow through the storm. Monica had 4 consecutive miscarriages after 3 healthy pregnancies with no explanation, one of which was twins so in total she lost 5 little angels.   Her and her husband met at a soccer practice an

In the course of my research for this documentary and blog series, I have talked to many mothers who have experienced loss in one form or another. Whether during early pregnancy, mid pregnancy, late pregnancy, right after birth or when the baby was older due to health reasons or SIDS.   I have compiled some advice from different mothers who have experienced loss. They want to share their wisdom with not only those who are or have experienced loss but also with those who haven’t experienced but might know someone who has. These all came from various women, from different cultures and backgrounds. Like snowflakes in the snow, no 2 women experiencing loss are the same. It always happens for a different reason. Everything happens for a reason and god has his plans its nothing you did, you will be blessed again when it is your time, don’t be afraid to talk about it (or not want to talk about it) lean on those close to you don’t be afraid to turn to counseling My best piece of advi

Like my previous article talking about advice for mothers/families experiencing a loss, I also compiled a list of things that women who have experienced a loss want others to learn not to say during or after their loss. These are things that don’t help us feel any better and even sometimes make us feel worse. One thing I have noticed while going through my own stillbirth as well as talking to other moms, who have experienced a loss, is people seem to think that losses farther along in pregnancy are harder than those early on. Or that if you have a loss after you already have kids that it’s okay and you should just focus on the other children.   I surveyed some women who have experienced losses and these are the things they wish people WOULD NOT say when they experienced their loss. ·         At least you weren’t that far along” , will your next baby replace the one you lost, when are you going to try again? ·         “Maybe it wasn’t meant to be” ·         “You can try to get

The following is another story of pregnancy/infant loss by one of my clients. Every one of her children except her first (her sunshine baby) is a rainbow baby due to miscarriage but this story focuses on the loss that wasn’t supposed to happen. The one that should have lived if the proper steps had been taken by her doctors. This is her story: “My husband and I were super excited to find out that we’d be welcoming our 2nd child the following summer. But there was some complications from the beginning. I had a bad fall. So at about 8 weeks, I started to bleed a lot. Like a period. I’d see my OBGYN and he’d tell me that I had a Chorionic hematoma, and that it wasn’t much to worry about. I went on to bleed the rest of my pregnancy. Fast forward to week 17. I was standing up cooking dinner when I felt a huge GUSH of fluid. Thinking it was just urine, I go and change. But it continues to happen. Concerned, I go to the ER. They tell me that it’s just urine, and just send me home. 2 days